When Other People Get What You Want

When Other People Get What You Want

Sam DiStefano Advisors & Student Leaders, Leadership, Personal Development 1 Comment

Let’s face it, we have all felt it; that hot jealousy that rises up in us when someone else gets what we really wanted. We don’t want to feel that way, we don’t want to be upset over it, but sure enough, the feeling hits you like a brick wall.

It comes in many shapes and many ways. Maybe you are feeling inadequate because you have applied to what feels like a million jobs with no luck and your friend got their dream job right out of college. Maybe you feel stuck or left behind because you have received your 6th wedding invitation this year and you can’t even snag a date!

Maybe you scroll through your feed and are overwhelmed with feelings of restlessness and dissatisfaction because you didn’t just climb a mountain in Peru like your friend Paco. Maybe you are feeling frustrated that someone (who in your humble opinion is a big ol jerk) is stepping into their dreams and you feel like you are still waiting on something, anything to start going good.

You are not alone. We live in a world that is fast paced and on display for all to see. With the prominence of social media today, young adults more often then not walk away from a scroll sesh feeling envious and inadequate. So what gives? What do we do when other people seem to be living the life that we want?

God has something to say about this. God thought it was SO important that He made sure to include it in the ten commandments. Deuteronomy 5:21 says, “ And you shall not covet your neighbor’s wife. And you shall not desire your neighbor’s house, his field, or his male servant, or his female servant, his ox, or his donkey, or anything that is your neighbor’s.”

So in today’s language, don’t be desirous of your friend’s bae, their stuff, or their life. The word covet means to yearn, crave, or want really really badly. Craving someone else’s stuff, circumstances, financial situation, opportunity or relationship status doesn’t change anything for them and really only hurts you. Teddy Roosevelt once accurately said, “Comparison is the thief of joy.” 

The author of Hebrews writes in 13:5, “ Let your conduct be without covetousness; be content with such things as you have. For He Himself (Jesus) has said, ‘I will never leave you or forsake you.’” A jealous heart is usually a discontent one. A discontent heart says, “What God has given isn’t enough.” This attitude is harmful to your spirit and can lead to bitterness, frustration, anger and reeks of ungratefulness.

As believers we have a promise. Jesus comes alongside of you and says, “I’m not going anywhere kid and I’m never going to abandon you.” God knows us and loves us. He knows exactly what we need and want and will always provide for us according to His perfect will. He actually promises to give us the desires of our heart when we make a habit of delighting ourselves in Him (Psalm 37:4) The discipline we must learn is being content in the knowledge of His goodness.

If you are struggling today, I challenge you to take a break and challenge your own perspective. Where is your gaze? What are you focusing on? What is one beautiful thing in your life right now? When was the last time you took time to delight in God?

It is only in the light of understanding who you are and how loved you are by the God of the Universe, that you will be able to trust. God is for you. He is writing YOUR story and you can be sure it’s a good one. Don’t let the enemy steal one more second of your joy. Focus your heart on Him and His promises to you and watch every fear and jealous thought disappear.


About the Author

Sam DiStefano


Sam DiStefano went to school at SUNY Geneseo and earned a degree in Childhood with Special Education. It was at college, through BASIC, that she learned what it meant to be a disciple of Jesus. In June 2014, she joined on staff with BASIC and planted a chapter at Le Moyne College in Syracuse, NY that fall. BASIC has deeply affected Sam’s life and she feels called to help other students experience freedom and hope in Christ.