You’ve Got a Friend in Me

Anna Marie Magyar Leadership, Personal Development, Resources 0 Comments

“Show me your friends, and I’ll show you your future.” -Pastor Peter Haas

Genesis chapter one is known as the creation story. For 31 verses, the Master Artist carefully designs every little detail from the veins in the leaves, to the color of the birds’ wings, to the movement of the sea. Each thing the Creator forms He saw that it “was very good” (Genesis 1:31, ESV).

In Genesis 2, the Artist grabs His cold brew, preparing to truly show off with His most fascinating production yet. In one breath, He wows all of creation with the formation of man. Again, we witness another good design.

It’s in verse 18 that the Lord speaks what we have not heard Him say as of yet, “It is not good…” What, we ask, in all that You have created cannot be good? He continues “…that man should be alone; I will make a helper fit for him” (Genesis 2:18, ESV).

When man first steps on the scene of the creation story, God demonstrates the need for him to have someone by his side — a helper. Other words for helper include: backup, right-hand man/woman, and friend. God did not just provide Adam with any random person to keep him company. Rather, He created Eve, a “helper fit for him” (Genesis 2:20b, ESV).

We cannot read Genesis 2 and walk away thinking that God does not care about who we surround ourselves with, or ignore the importance in having the right people in our inner circle. Jesus modeled this for us very well. Although He spent time and built relationships with 12 disciples, it was Peter, James and John that Jesus chose to include within His inner circle. It was these three who witnessed the miracle of raising Jairus’ Daughter (Mark 5:37). It was to only these men that Jesus revealed the fullness of His identity to (Mark 9:2-7); and when Jesus was overcome with the distress of His upcoming arrest and the cross, it was these three Jesus chose to be fully vulnerable with (Mark 14:33 & 34).

If Jesus used wisdom, caution, and intentionality with whom He chose to share His heart, glory, and deepest emotions with, then why should we take our friendships any less seriously? How often do we consider the importance and value in the individuals we are spending the most time with, and being the most vulnerable with? How frequently do we assess our own responsibility as a friend to others?

The Bible is so very clear about the impact of who we surround ourselves with:

  • Paul shares, “Do not be misled: ‘Bad company corrupts good character’” (1 Corinthians 15:33, NIV).  
  • Proverbs 22:24-25 explains, “Do not make friends with a hot-tempered person… or you may learn their ways and get yourself ensnared” (NIV).
  • Proverbs 13:20 advises, “Walk with the wise and become wise, for a companion of fools suffers harm” (NIV).
  • When demonstrating the value of a good friend, Ecclesiastes 4:9-10 states, “Two are better than one, because they have a good return for their labor: If either of them falls down, one can help the other up. But pity anyone who falls and has no one to help them up” (NIV).
  • Lastly, Proverbs 12:26 explains “The righteous choose their friends carefully” (NIV).

The scriptures supporting the value of a good friend, and caution when choosing who you surround yourself with far surpasses the list I have included above. There is then no question that God sees great value in friendships and their quality.

I encourage you to seek God in this–to ask Him who should be in your inner circle, and to advise you on being a friend who “sticks closer than a brother” (Proverbs 18:24, NIV). As He did with Adam, God can provide you with the helpers (friends) you need in this season, and grow you into the person those around you need alongside them. I have found such life in the close friendships I have, and I am confident God can provide that for you as well.

For more information on the value of friendships, and how to choose right relationships, see the links below to two of Peter Haas’ blogs on the topic.

About the Author

Anna Marie Magyar


Wife. Cat mom. Lover of Jesus, coffee, and all things Disney. I was a student leader in my BASIC group at the College of St. Rose and have continued to help with the group as a co-adviser.

How To Hear God's Voice

How To Hear God’s Voice

Chris Zeigler Advisors & Student Leaders, Personal Development 0 Comments

Summer is almost here and I can’t wait. I’m looking forward to warm temperatures, wearing shorts and flip flops, exploring new places and hitting the beach. Another big reason that I look forward to the summer is because for those of us in college ministry, things usually slow down a little bit and I can spend more time with God. Don’t get me wrong, there can still be quite a few commitments, but I often find that the summer is a great opportunity to set aside more time and focus on my relationship with Him.

Too often I find myself so consumed with activity that I don’t take the time I should to develop my relationship with God. King David was known as someone who was close to God. He was known as someone who spent time in God’s presence regularly and yet this is what he said in one of the psalms, “God, you are my God; earnestly I seek you. My soul thirsts for you; my whole body longs for you in this dry and weary land where there is no water.” Even David knew that he had to set aside time to earnestly seek God.

There’s many ways to grow in your relationship with God. You could spend more time reading the Bible, in worship or reading books. But one way I’ve grown closer to God that has really been a blessing is learning how to better hear His voice through prayer. In our lives prayer is the grease that makes the engine go. Going through life without prayer is like driving a car without putting oil in. You won’t get nearly as far as you could.

James wrote in the Bible that, “The prayer of a righteous person is powerful and effective.” Making space in your routine for a daily prayer time is really important and beneficial. If you don’t do this already then try starting with a reasonable goal like praying for five minutes. Once you’ve established a routine you can always increase the amount of time you spend each day.

I would suggest picking a time that you’re normally alert and don’t tend to have many other commitments. Think about a time you would normally spend mindlessly scrolling through social media or watching a TV show. Then put your phone on do not disturb so you’re not distracted. If you’re really having trouble remembering to do it put a daily reminder in your phone or determine that you won’t do something else you would never skip (like showering or eating dinner) until you’ve done your prayer time.

As you actively spend more time in prayer, eventually you can learn to hear God’s voice. It’s just like when you’ve spent a lot of time with a friend. I know my wife’s voice so well that I don’t need to look at caller ID when she calls, when I hear her voice I know that it’s her. And over time you’ll begin to know the voice of God through prayer.

It’s very rare that someone hears the voice of God in an audible way, but it can happen. Usually it sounds more like a thought within your head. Often you’ll find yourself questioning if what you just heard was your own thought or God speaking.

It takes time to determine which it is, but it’s helpful that God has given us the Bible to help us test what we’re hearing and determine if it’s from God or not. Anything that we think may be the voice of God must first align with what the Scriptures say. This is why it’s important to be reading and studying the Bible regularly so that you can go back and determine if something you’re hearing makes sense with what God’s Word says.

God has spoken some incredible things to me throughout my life. Some of the things I’ve heard Him say have been absolutely life changing. But it’s taken years of seeking God in prayer and through reading the Bible for me to clearly understand when I’m hearing God’s voice and when I’m just thinking my own thoughts. There are still times that I don’t always get it right, but for the most part I’ve learned to distinguish between the two.

It’s not easy or able to be explained in a five step process, but it is worth the time and effort to get to know God’s voice. You can grow in determining God’s voice through regular practice. Set aside time to be still, focus on Him and wait to hear His voice.

In a world where we’re used to filling every free moment by looking at Facebook or playing a game on our phones (guilty as charged) this will be incredibly difficult at first. But over time you can train your mind to focus and be quiet. God has so many things that He wants to tell you if you’ll take the time to listen. Tell God that you’re coming to Him because you want to hear His voice. This is what King David was doing when he said, “Earnestly I seek You.” And God will be so delighted when you do this because He longs to spend time with you.

Praying with a friend can also help you practice hearing God’s voice. I have a friend who I regularly pray with and when we pray we take the majority of our time to listen for God’s voice and then we share with each other what we heard. This might sound strange to you, but I’ve found that this practice has really helped me learn to hear God’s voice better. There are many times that God gives us words to share with one another.

Over the years I’ve shared words with him that have most likely been my thoughts more than God’s words, and I’m sure he could say the same, but as we’ve continued to lean into God and listen for His voice we’ve gotten better at discerning when it’s Him speaking and when it’s just us. And as the years have gone by we’ve seen words that we’ve given each other come to pass. When you see that happen, then you can confidently say that you’ve heard God’s voice and it strengthens your desire even more to keep listening for what He wants to say to you.

Even though there’s been times I’ve gotten it wrong, I don’t give up listening because I want to be someone who hears God. But this is not something to take lightly either. We have to be very careful with any word we share with others that we believe God has given us. Because our words are incredibly powerful and can have a big influence in the lives of others.

When you want to grow in hearing God’s voice it’s best to submit what you’re hearing to leaders in your life. Ask them what they think before you take it to heart or share it with another person. And remember that the Bible says anything God speaks to us for sharing with others will always be for strengthening, encouragement and comfort. If it doesn’t fit in one of those categories, it isn’t God.

When you devote some time each day to draw closer to God you’ll experience what David did. David had discovered that spending time with God was the greatest thing he could do in life. In fact, he considered it even better than life when he said, “God, your unfailing love is better than life itself. You satisfy me more than the richest feast. I will praise you with songs of joy.”

I hope you can start setting aside time this summer to seek God in prayer and I know that as you practice hearing His voice He will speak to you and encourage you. Have a great summer!

About the Author

Chris Zeigler


Chris Zeigler is the Assistant Director of BASIC. He was a student leader with BASIC at the SUNY Oswego campus and has never lost his heart for college students since then. He and his wife, Cheryl, have started BASIC groups at three colleges in NY. Outside of work you can hear him talking about his reluctant love for the Oakland Raiders, see him using his iPhone to get "the perfect shot" to feed his love for photography and playing with his adorable kids.

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Authenticity in the Age of Duplicity

Sam DiStefano Advisors & Student Leaders, Evangelism, Leadership, Personal Development 0 Comments

Our world seems to change faster and faster as the days go on. I am shocked at how quickly trends come and go, how fast ideology shifts, and how transient our generation has become. This can be a really good thing, and as campus ministers we have to know our audience. It causes us to stay sharp, do our research, and be able to stay relevant as far as the issues and circumstances our students face.

There is a lot of discussion about relevancy and how much we should cater to the constantly shifting wants and desires of this generation. For these students nothing is sure and nothing is secure. Now more than ever, students are jaded. We live in what is called the Post-Modern Era, a time that by it’s own definition is in a state of perpetual incompleteness and permanent unresolve. Students have been taught to question everything and they do. If you have been on a campus for any amount of time it saturates the environment; question religion, question authority, question motives. If we aren’t careful we can start feeling hopeless and wonder if we can ever make an impact with all the skepticism.

But take heart friends! The way to reach this generation is through authenticity plain and simple. We can make ourselves crazy trying to catch up to the changing tides of culture, or we can rest assured that Jesus is enough to save. I have found that in this ever changing time, students long for some stability and authenticity.

What exactly do I mean? Students can smell fake from miles away. Instead of trying to be someone you are not for the sake of fitting a trend, be the person Jesus made you to be. Let your love be genuine (Romans 12:9). As you love Jesus and engage students, they will respond. Trust is built as we continue to show up, continue to love the Lord, continue to work hard beside them and for them. Students are watching you. They are watching how you talk, how you deal with stress and failure, and how you lead them. I believe there once was a time where leaders felt the pressure to be perfect, or at least to look the perfect part. Students today don’t want perfect, they want real. Are you willing to admit your mistakes? Are you willing to be honest with them about your life? Are you willing to talk to them about the hard stuff? This kind of leadership is arguably harder, messier, and calls us to be more vulnerable. All of which seems like a small price to pay for the possibility of reaching this generation.

Ultimately, students will find comfort in the stability of Jesus, the undeniable truth of His word, and the unshakeable knowledge of His love. Personally, that is what happened for me. I felt that in life, everything and everyone was going to leave me or let me down, but when I met Jesus, I recognized that truth that He would never leave me and he never has. His love is sure and His affection for me is unchangeable. We need to be the reflection of that kind of love for our students. We aren’t perfect, but that’s not really what they wanted anyway.

About the Author

Sam DiStefano


Sam DiStefano went to school at SUNY Geneseo and earned a degree in Childhood with Special Education. It was at college, through BASIC, that she learned what it meant to be a disciple of Jesus. In June 2014, she joined on staff with BASIC and planted a chapter at Le Moyne College in Syracuse, NY that fall. BASIC has deeply affected Sam’s life and she feels called to help other students experience freedom and hope in Christ.

Time for Relationships

Jamie Sinclair Advisors & Student Leaders 0 Comments

The Kingdom of God is all about relationship. Events and programming are important, often even a critical component of Kingdom growth, but ultimately it’s about people growing closer to Jesus and closer to one another.

But life gets busy, and next thing I know, my relationships tend to consist of chit-chat at weekly gatherings. This isn’t acceptable in my book. My heart is to know and walk with my students. If you feel the same struggle, a couple of thoughts that have helped me that may help you.

Purposeful Is OK

When it comes to relationships, in an effort to avoid forced and to embrace “organic”, sometimes I’ve refused to be purposeful. This is a mistake.

Jesus was purposeful with the Twelve; while many came and went, He specifically identified a group of men to follow Him. Paul encouraged Timothy to be purposeful as he invested in leaders who could invest in other leaders (2 Tim 2:2). We see this principle of purposeful relationship in Scripture itself.

Make Time for Conversations

Particularly with your leadership team, before or at the beginning of the semester, sit down with one or two at a time. Chat about break and the upcoming semester, ministry programming and brainstorms for outreach. Pray together.

Try to connect at least a few times over the course of the semester to encourage them and refocus on the vision God has given us: to make disciples!

Maybe keep a short list of students you’d like to connect with over the next month. Don’t feel constrained by the list but allow it to help you stay focused and purposeful.

Social Media Works Too

In my opinion there is no perfect substitute for some quality time with someone, one can only meet with so many students in a given week. How can we connect with more? Technology.

Email often feels a little too formal, but simple texts of encouragement or Facebook messages asking how someone is doing and if there’s anything you can pray for, this shows students you care and keeps you in the loop of what God is doing in the group.

And be open to new media. How does your group communicate? Maybe give Snapchat a try—many students use it more than Facebook!

Photo credit: Sam & me on the bleachers via photon (license)

About the Author

Jamie Sinclair


Slang, theology, history, computers, politics, and more; Jamie is a guy of many interests...but living with Jesus tops them all. His life is full, simple, and crazy...and he strives (imperfectly) for both contentedness and godly ambition. He lives in Potsdam, NY where he serves his local church, working primarily with college students and young adults. You can find his infrequently updated blog at

About the Author

Jamie Sinclair


Slang, theology, history, computers, politics, and more; Jamie is a guy of many interests...but living with Jesus tops them all. His life is full, simple, and crazy...and he strives (imperfectly) for both contentedness and godly ambition. He lives in Potsdam, NY where he serves his local church, working primarily with college students and young adults. You can find his infrequently updated blog at